The problem most people face when they speak in more formal settings is keeping their focus on being conversational rather than worrying about what the audience is thinking about them. In every one of my seminars I ask participants to list the reasons they attend my program. The top vote—to quell their speaking fears. Here are seven “symptoms” of fear expressed over and over again. Any of these sound familiar? • Sweaty palms • Nausea • Accelerated heart rate • Shortness of breath • Chest pains • Tingling or numbness • Anxiety or uneasiness Most people with speech anxiety experience one or more of these symptoms. Think about a time when you experienced similar feelings. Have you ever had to make a cold call to someone? Ask someone out on a date for the first time? Explain to your boss why you think you deserve a raise? These are all situations where you may become anxious and experience some of the symptoms discussed. Everyone, even veteran speakers, experience some anxiety when speaking in front of a group of people. Let’s take a look at where some of these fears originate.
First Things First—Calming Your Anxiety During my many years as a speaker (remember, I have been doing this since I was only five), I have witnessed every kind of speech anxiety symptom. In my seminars I always present a section on techniques for dealing with these fears. Learning to overcome these feelings is critical to becoming a more confident, successful speaker. The best way to deal with speaking anxiety is to first acknowledge that this fear is perfectly normal and you are not alone. Most studies suggest fear of public speaking is associated with a stressful childhood or early school year experience speaking in front of others. My fears were limited mostly to being beaten up by the school bully. Most people remember a specific moment in their life when they first experienced this anxiety. It may have been during one of those “show and tell” moments in school when the entire class, especially that girl or boy you had a crush on, laughed at you. We have a tendency to forget why they laughed and just remember that they did! Most people develop speaking phobias while in middle school. This is the time when a well-meaning teacher asked you to speak in front of your class or asked you to say something in a social setting. Yet think about it. Adolescence is one of the most difficult periods in life. As a middle school student, you were going through tremendous social, emotional, and physical changes and were very sensitive to what other people thought about you, especially your fellow classmates. Unfortunately, many people carry these turbulent feelings into adulthood; thus experiences, good or bad, are etched in your mind forever. You see, it is this fear of failure that you find yourself dealing with at one time in your life. I remember back in middle school when my best friend, Jerry, was going to talk to the en-tire sixth-grade class about what it is like to play drums. Jerry had made special arrangements to get into the school early so he could set up his drum set. He set up his drums quickly and was ready. When he rushed to his first-period class, he did not see his drum set. He thought someone had played a trick on him and moved it. Jerry was so nervous when he got to school, he had set up his drum set in a similar classroom on the third floor. The problem was, our classroom was on the second floor. He forgot to check which room he was really in. Needless to say, Jerry learned a good lesson. Half of a speaker’s or performer’s success is just showing up in the right place at the right time. Hopefully something like this has never happened to you. Many people today who work in front of the public, such as singers, actors, and politicians, still experience, to varying degrees, these same fears. Some people call speech anxiety “stage fright.” I like to think of it as “speech excitement.” How you deal with it starts with what you call it. Speech excitement means positive energy. When I survey the participants in my seminars and probe further, I find similar stories to Jerry’s. You’d think I was a doctor asking about their symptoms so I can prescribe the “magic pill” to help them.
Relaxation Techniques Let’s assume that you had about ten minutes before you were scheduled to give a presentation. What can you do to help yourself relax?
Deep Breathing One of the best exercises you can do before you speak is to practice some deep breathing techniques for about five to ten minutes. Here’s how it’s done: 1. Sit relaxed in your chair with your back straight and your hands dangling at your sides. 2. Let the blood flow to your fingertips and slowly inhale and exhale, taking deep breaths as you let your body relax. You can even close your eyes if you want. 3. As you breathe in, hold your breath for about three to four seconds and exhale slowly. 4. Repeat this slowly for about five minutes. Deep breathing allows your body to take in more oxygen, which in turn acts like a natural drug to relax your muscles by forcing your body to release endorphins—chemicals in your body that act as a stimulant. This simple exercise is used by many speakers, performers, and athletes. Practice doing these exercises until you learn the proper rate and extent of deep breathing you need to relax you. Be careful not to breathe too deep, too fast, or you may find yourself getting dizzy. You do not want to hyperventilate.
Visualization Another great technique, which you can use in conjunction with deep breathing, is “visualization.” This is a simple process. 1. Close your eyes and imagine, or “visualize,” yourself speaking.2. Picture yourself speaking in a loud, clear, and assured voice, and imagine that the audience is fascinated by what you’re saying. Studies have shown that if you visualize yourself giving a successful presentation, you will be successful. Professional and Olympic skiers use visualization, too. Before they actually head down the slope, they visualize in their mind where the gates and turns are and virtually practice the course in their mind. As a professional speaker, I use visualization all the time, visualizing and “navigating” the “course” of a speech before starting. I first visualize myself walking up to the stage as I am introduced and the audience applauding as I make my way to the podium. It is not unusual for me to arrive early to physically practice walking on stage so later my visualization process is more realistic. Some experts even suggest imagining your audience sitting nude. I don’t know about you, but if I tried this with some of my previous audiences, I might get very distracted. The most important part of the visualization process is to think positive.
Positive Self-Talk Positive self-talk is the process of associating a situation with positive results. Imagine people applauding you, not running away, as you walk on stage. Imagine your audience listening to every word you say, not snoring so loudly that even you can’t hear yourself. The power of the mind is truly amazing, and those who have a positive outlook experience success, which in turn builds confidence. Don’t worry if you have trouble at first. These breathing and visualization techniques take some practice and become easier the more frequently you practice. Try all these tech-niques to discover which technique or combination of techniques works best for you.
Warm-up Routines I, as well as many other professional speakers, all have “warmup” routines. For me, it’s arriving early and walking around the room where I will speak. As I said earlier, I walk to the podium or stage and even walk around the room where the audience will be sitting so I can get a feel for the room. Then I find a quiet location, out of sight from the audience, where I practice deep breathing exercises while visualizing the speaking environment. I also visualize people looking at me as my introduction is being given. As I start my speech, I like to smile at the audience and focus on my opening lines. I use this warm-up routine before each speaking engagement. It has the greatest positive effect on me—I not only relax, but I find I actually have more energy. Find a warm-up routine that works for you and begin using it regularly.
Quick Techniques for Handling Nervousness You may not realize it, but a major portion of speech anxiety comes from nervousness. There are a variety of techniques you can start using immediately to help you deal with nervousness. Here are some that I teach clients during workshops. I have broken them into two categories: physical and mental.
Physical Techniques for Handling Nervousness You can use these techniques to physically warm up yourbody .1. Take a brisk walk before you speak. This will help loosen up your entire body and get your blood circulating. If you are speaking in a large hotel, as I often do, take a walk around the hotel and walk off some of this nervous energy. Just don’t get lost, and keep your eye on the time. 2. Don’t sit with your legs crossed. Stand up well in advance of being introduced and walk around so your legs will not cramp as they often do when you first stand. 3. Before you speak, while sitting in your seat, let your arms dangle at your sides and let the blood flow to the tips of your fingers. When the blood flow is directed away from your skin, fingers, and toes, you often feel a tingling sensation, and your skin may begin to look pale and feel cold. Sometimes people experience tingling or numbness because the blood flow travels to the larger muscles such as the thighs and biceps. Letting your hands dangle at your sides helps reestablish blood flow to your hands and fingertips. During this process you will start to feel better and more relaxed. You may need to stand up and walk around to get the blood flowing to your legs for the same reason. 4. Also while sitting, turn your wrists and shake your fingers to force the blood to flow to your hands and fingers. 5. Wriggle your jaw back and forth gently to help loosen up your facial muscles. 6. Scrunch your toes, but be careful not to scrunch so tightly that you get a cramp. 7. Yawn (politely, of course). 8. Use deep breathing exercises.
Mental Techniques for Handling Nervousness Here are several mental techniques you can include as part of your warm-up routine. 1. Prepare and rehearse. This is the single most important thing you can do. 2. Think “success” using the visualization techniques. 3. Be natural but enthusiastic. 4. Visualize the audience applauding you when you are done. 5. Think conversational, and include some personal stories during your talk. 6. Focus on your message and not on your nervousness.
Top Ten List: Tips to Help You Overcome Speaking Anxiety To help you get started on the right track, here’s a roundup of specific tips to help you better deal with any speaking anxiety. 1. Get ready. Preparation is key to any speech. I like to think of it as the nine P’s. Prior Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance Of the Person Putting on the Presentation 2. Think on the bright side. Although you may think the audience will rise up and laugh at you in unison, this never happens. Use all your newly learned techniques to conquer your first and future speeches. 3. Be aware of your speaking environment. Arrive early and walk around the room. Stand in the location where you will give the speech, and sit in an audience seat, too. 4. Know your listeners. Greet audience members and chat with them. It is easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers. Arriving early provides you with the opportunity to meet people. 5. Warm up. You can ease some of your tension by practicing your warm-up routine. 6. Realize people want you to succeed. All audiences want speakers to be interesting, stimulating, informative, and entertaining. They want you to succeed, not fail. 7. Don’t apologize for being nervous.Most of the time your nervousness will not show at all. If you don’t refer to it, nobody will notice. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any kinks you believe you have in your speech, you will only be calling attention to yourself. 8. Concentrate on your message. Your nervous feelings dissipate when you focus your attention away from your anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience, not yourself. 9. Control jitters constructively. The same nervous energy that causes stage fright can also be an asset if you let it. Force your body to move by walking as you speak. Use your arms and hands to gesture with vitality and enthusiasm. 10. Gain experience. Experience builds confidence. The more you speak, the more your confidence helps dispel your anxiety. Most speakers find their anxiety decreases more after each speech.
By- Book 10 Days to More Confident Public Speaking /The Princeton Language Institute and Lenny Laskowski
Produced by The Philip Lief Group, Inc.
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